The House of the Ed
by Spawn Of Evil
Summary: I can't do summarie to save my life. Just read the damn thing.
1. The Man with a Scam

House of the Ed 

I had always wanted to write an EEnE fanfic. The title came to me one day and I decided to write a story based on it. Anyway onto the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd or Eddy. Or Rolf. Or Kevin. Or

Audience: GET ON WITH IT!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"At last our latest scam is completed!" Eddy said excitedly. "We'll be rolling in jawbreakers! I can picture it now …"

"Don't say that!" Edd cut in. "Each time you say that the scam seems to go wrong!"

"Hey Double D didn't you just butt in?" asked Eddy.

"Oh no I did! My ethics! My morals! My …"

"Shut it sock head!"

"Don't you know it's rude to butt in?"

And so they argued. And argued. And argued. And …

Audience: SHUT UP!!

Ok ok keep your wig on! Anyway they could have argued forever without Ed's intervention.

"Gravy!!"

"Ok… We have a madman on our hands." Eddy said.

"Cut it out!!" shouted Double D angrily. "Now let's take a look at our scam…gentlemen?"

The three friends turned to look and their scam. It was a house made of cardboard. Countless stuffed zombies, ghosts and other supernatural creatures were in it and most of them had the stuffing coming out of them. Basically, you paid a quarter and you would be given a 'highly advanced laser cannon' (a gun-shaped torch). Then you would go on a tour inside the house and 'blast the zombies to kingdom come' (flash the torch at them). If you blasted them within 5 seconds, the zombie would be dead. If you didn't, you lost a life. You start with three lives, and more can be found by shooting certain things. There were 3 levels. Each level was harder than the rest and the Eds were the bosses at the end of each level. Edd was the first boss (a vampire), Eddy was the second boss (a werewolf) and Ed (wearing his infamous monster suit) was the third. Each boss had a weak point and you could only harm it by shooting at the weak point.

"Well guys think it's ready! The house of the Ed is open in business!" Eddy cackled. (A storm starts and lightning is seen in the background)

"Shouldn't we start rounding up some suck…I mean customers?" asked Double D. (The storm disappears)

By that time all the kids from the cul-de-sac were assembled at the gates and staring at the house. 

"So you're already interested in the sca...I mean game? Well its fairly simple. All you have to do is …" Eddy explained the rules to the assembled kids. 

"Sounds cool!" 

"I'm scared Sarah!"

"I'll protect you Jimmy!"

"Dorkish if you ask me!"

"This ain't a library! Pay or get lost!" snapped Eddy. "So, who's playing?"

All the kids thought for a moment and said yes.

"Rolf cannot refuse a challenge!"

"This is a waste of time!"

Eddy held out a jar and collected all the money and gave them a torch and a life counter each. 

"We'll stay with you until the first zombie" The Eds said.

However something was odd. The guns had a strange metallic quality. It wasn't until the first zombie until they noticed something was amiss.

The zombie was moving!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So that's the beginning of my first fanfic. Anyway I'm holding a poll. Who should I kill first?


	2. A Prologue

House of the Ed  
  
Well it's been a long time since I last did anything on ff.net. With the arrival of EVE I just didn't have the time to do anything. (I was too busy playing EVE (). The story's been finally updated and here it is!! /rant off.  
  
Story on/  
  
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The zombie was about 6 ft 2, and had grey skin the colour of rock. Two bloodshot, mis-matched eyes stared out from under a curtain of hair a shade of unhealthy blonde. Green wounds stood out from the creature's bare skin. A pair of tattered jeans was the only clothing on the zombie. Mis-matched arms were stretched out in front of the thing; each ending in claws at least three inches long. As they watched, the thing started shambling towards them. "Why have you brought Rolf's great Nano here?" asked a very puzzled Rolf. "And here is our first zombie, all designed by Double D!" announced Eddy to the assembled crowd. "But that is no zombie, that is Rolf's great Nano!!!" Ignoring the comment from Rolf, Eddy went over to admire Edd's handiwork.  
  
"Nice work Double D!" "But, but Eddy." Ignoring this, Eddy started tapping the zombie and started prodding it. "Wow!!! You've even made realistic green blood!!!" "But, but Eddy."  
Eddy turned round.  
"Sockhead quit YAPPING!!"  
"Eddy, LOOK OUT!!!"  
Eddy turned round again to face the zombie. It had raised its arm, and with a fleeting grin brought it crashing down on him. To Eddy, it seemed time had slowed right down. He saw that the thing was going to cleave him in half if he didn't do anything. Just as Eddy was about to be hit, he leapt backwards and twisted his body to avoid being hit. Even so, he still had a huge gash running diagonally across his torso. "Eddy!! Are you alright?" asked a very scared Double D. "Why didn't you warn me?" The zombie had raised its arm again and was about to strike to strike until the kids heard a gun fire and its head came crashing off. They turned round. In the middle of the group Ed held a smoking gun.  
  
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Later in the day  
  
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"Hey let's check the main gate!" Sarah exclaimed. "Good idea!" the other kids agreed.  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Later in the day  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
"Well we're in the central courtyard. Let's try and open the gate." Eddy said. Everyone started pulling on the door handles, but the door refused to budge. Suddenly a voice boomed, "You will never escape! Get them!" The nearest window suddenly burst and out came three undead monkeys (Yes, there are undead monkeys in the first HotD (House of the Dead)). The kids knew what to do by now. They fired shot after shot at the creatures, but they just wouldn't die. One of the monkeys made a sudden move, targeting Jimmy. It leapt towards him, grabbed hold of his collar and dragged him off. "Sarah! Help!" shouted Jimmy. "Jimmy! No!" wept Sarah. "That is just a warning! You will be next!" the voice boomed. The whole group was saddened by the loss of Jimmy. Many of them started to give up hope that they would escape. Eddy, seeing the kids were down in the dumps, decided to do something. "Look," he said, addressing the rest of the kids. "We're stuck in this place. But why give up hope? That's exactly what the guy wants us to do. If we give up hope we're easier to pick off. There's always a chance that we will get through this." Gradually, the rest of the cul-de-sac realised that Eddy was right, that they mustn't give up hope. They started to believe that they could get through this.  
  
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In a dark room  
  
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"Excellent. The kids have fallen for the trap"  
  
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Well that's the second chapter for you all. Should I make the killings bloodier? Should I make my chapters longer? Who is the mysterious man? And why am I carrying on this piece of crap? 


End file.
